The seduction of addictions

By Teddye Snell, Press Staff Writer

March 13, 2006 10:38 am

— “I want to be seduced . . .” crooned a recording of Peggy Lee to a packed conference room at Indian Capital Technology Center Saturday morning.
So began Dr. Amy Blackburn’s keynote address for the sixth annual Woman to Woman conference, sponsored in part by the American Association of University Women.
Blackburn, a retired professor of psychology at Northeastern State University, spoke to the group of approximately 150 women about the “Seduction of Addictions,” the theme for this year’s conference.
Blackburn used the life of Mae West to illustrate a legacy of addiction.
“Mae West once said, ‘Too much of a good thing is wonderful,’” said Blackburn. “I think we can all agree with that, can’t we? Once we experience something good, we want more of it.”
Blackburn recalled the first time she ever heard the word “seduce.”
“The first time I heard the word was from my mother,” said Blackburn. “She said something like ‘You’d better watch those boys, they’ll seduce you into . . .” which was meant to scare me, but it made me interested in what it was she wanted me to look out for.
“Now had she said something like, ‘They’ll seduce you into cooking for them, or washing their dirty underwear,’ I might not have been so drawn to the word and what it meant.”
Blackburn’s point was a person can’t hear the word “seduction” and not feel something.
“We’re set up in life to believe in the quote from Mae West,” said Blackburn. “We’re brought up believing there’s something outside of ourselves to take care of things, to give us power over our demons.”
According to Blackburn, many addictions start out as coping skills - a way to deal with problems that, in reality, end up causing more stress than the problems they supposedly solve.
“I’m sure you all have heard of retail therapy,” said Blackburn. “Someone might say, ‘I’m depressed so I’m going to apply some retail therapy, shop a little to feel better,’ or, ‘Maybe if I clean a few closets, I won’t be so depressed.’”
Work, chocolate, shopping, these are all things that take people away from their healthy living, said Blackburn. Nothing a person does, no matter how spontaneous it may seem, is random. Everything people do is to meet a basic need.
People have five basic needs that fall into two categories: Comfort and control. Power, survival and freedom fall into the control category; love and belonging and fun fall into the comfort category.
“Who is not seduced by something that seems to give us what we want?” asked Blackburn. “I remember getting a phone call from my accountant one night. He told me I was going to be audited, which is a huge family fear. Every family has its own set of fears, and being audited by the IRS was one of ours. I don’t know why, because we’ve always told the truth, but there it is. Well, without even realizing it, while I was screaming at my accountant, which is what I do when I’m out of my comfort zone, I ate four large frozen brownies. I felt better at the moment, but the next morning when I woke up and found the empty tin foil, I didn’t feel so good. The brownies helped me cope through that difficult moment in my life, but had no long-term solution to my problem.”
Loss in a person’s life creates a need for replacement, said Blackburn. If the healthy relationships in a person’s life are strained, the more apt they are to turn to objects to relieve their pain.
“The mood change we experience when we turn to those objects seduces us into believing our needs have been met,” said Blackburn. “This causes us to develop a dependency on the object to alleviate our fears. The object becomes more predictable than our healthy relationship and the seduction is complete.”
Blackburn encouraged participants to take note of the objects in their lives and to keep them in check in order to grow healthier relationships.
Other speakers for the all-day event included Dr. Carolyn Hawley, NSU professor; Rev. Thea Nietfeld, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Tahlequah; Gina Olaya, Cherokee Nation Enterprises; and Sandra Hill, licensed counselor. Topics included “Exploring Relationships - Family and Community,” and “Effects of Addictions on Relationships.”
Joyce Rose, president of the Tahlequah branch of AAUW, is involved in many community events.
“This conference is the event I look forward to most each year,” said Rose. “We have such fun. My brother is coming in from western Oklahoma today and I told him he’d just have to wait until this evening to visit with me, this conference is that important to me.”
Betty Brown, mission president for Antioch Baptist Church, attended the conference and spent the morning networking.
“We’re planning a similar conference in May,” said Brown. “We came to visit with the ladies here and to get ideas. We’re planning on using this same building, and would like for everyone here to come to our event, too.”
A light lunch was provided to participants by Talking Leaves Job Corps; snacks and drinks by NSU Sodexho Marriott; all at no cost to attendees. Talking Leaves Job Corps and NSU/Sodexho were co-sponsors for the event, along with the Tahlequah branch of AAUW.
The afternoon sessions included speakers and round-table discussions on the affects of addictions on womens’ lives.
Vendors participating in the event included Bill Willis Community Mental Health and Substance Abuse, Cherokee County Health Department, Cherokee Nation, Copy Shop Mailbox and Bead Store, Curves, Deborah Duvall, Arbonne, Art Connection, Beauty Technical College, Help-In-Crisis, Lucid Dreams, Oasis Health Foods, Tahlequah Friends of the Library and The Palms Therapeutic Massage and Body Spa. Vendors contributed over 40 door prizes given throughout the day.

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