Published May 31, 2007 09:27 am - The final in a two-part series explores young women’s increasing preference for sex - or something close to it - without the entanglement of a long-term relationship, and the drawbacks “hooking up” may present.
‘Hooking up’ versus dating
By TEDDYE SNELL
Tahlequah Daily Press
The words “hooking up” may elicit a snicker from high school-age girls when uttered by an adult, but chances are, the girls not only know what it means, they’ve done it themselves.
Which in itself can be confusing.
“Hooking up” is a phrase that has almost as many definitions as there are people to describe it. However, the general consensus is it’s used to describe what happens between two people who don’t necessarily have any foreseeable future together, or even a hint of commitment.
“Mitzi,” a third-year college student in Tahlequah, had her own bout of confusion when it came to determining what, exactly, a hookup entailed.
“I once used the term ‘hook up’ as a reference to a make-out session, and the person I was talking to was confused, because he said ‘hook up’ means sex,” she said. “So now I know. At least, that’s how everybody I know defines ‘hook up.’”
According to Andrea Lavinthal, co-author of “The Hookup Handbook,” traditional dating has gone the way of the dinosaur, giving way to one of two choices: being a member of a “serious couple,” or those who prefer “The Hookup,” which seems to be gaining popularity among many young women everywhere.
“Patricia,” a recent college graduate, also understands the definition of “hook up” as involving sex without strings.
“In my opinion, ‘hooking up’ is have sexual intercourse with someone you have absolutely no intention of having a serious relationship with,” she said.
Lavinthal believes many factors have played a role in the popularity of the hookup.
“Everyone seems more casual in their relationships, and people aren’t necessarily looking to settle down,” Lavinthal said in an interview with One2One Living online magazine. “Technology has also been a factor; these days, you can just text-message people rather than actually talking. As such, relationships have morphed into a casual thing.”
“Reese,” a 2004 graduate of Northeastern State University, never cared much for hookups, preferring to be half of a “serious couple.”
“Most of my friends were played on the baseball team,” he said. “So it seemed like they were looking more for the hookup-type thing. As far as girls go, I can’t say, but it seemed like my buddies did just fine.”
Casual relationships may have become more commonplace in college, but sociologist Kathleen Bogle found when conducting research for her upcoming book that once graduation is over, young women tend to turn back to traditional dating.
“Patricia” agrees.
“I think that if both parties are not looking for serious relationships that a hookup might be preferred, but I’m at the point in my life that I want a little more commitment,” she said.