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Fri, Jan 09 2009 

Published August 20, 2008 10:55 am -

Parents with tweens: Be vigilant


By TEDDYE SNELL

TAHLEQUAH DAILY PRESS

One of the few challenges facing parents of pre-teens used to be the potential of a “girl-boy” party where someone might have the idea to play spin-the-bottle.

Today, “tweens” whose parents are technologically savvy – or aren’t, but feel they need to give their kids the advantage – have a private, online domain of their own.

And that includes text messaging, sharing photos via cell phones and social networking pages, and the ever-present video gaming console, which now allows kids to compete against one another online all over the world.

No wonder a number of parents are scratching their heads, wondering when their “babies” became all grown up.

Others, however, are embracing the technology, signing up for the pages of MySpace and Facebook. Often, it’s an effort to monitor what their child is doing, or who they’re “chatting” with. But for some, it’s a way to bond with their teen.

According to a recent report by the Associated Press, teenagers are, as a general rule, closer to their parents than in previous generations. Nancy Robinson, consumer strategist for Iconoculture, a cultural trends research firm in Minneapolis, told the AP kids today often prefer hanging out with their parents to being holed up in their room.

This also extends to social networking sites, which comes in a close second only to texting. It’s a way for teens to communicate without having a “face-to-face” with their parents.

Randy Gibson, local father of two girls - ages “almost 6” and 12 - believes youth today are more savvy than in previous generations.

“They are definitely growing up too fast,” said Gibson. “Not just mine, but all of them. Challenges include TV - mainly reality shows, and of course, the Internet.”

Gibson allows his eldest to have a MySpace page, but monitors it closely. He works diligently with his children at leading by example, and providing guidance along the way.

“My thing is to do all I can to teach my children correct principles, then step back a little and watch how they make their choices,” he said. “I’ve seen too many people over the years who have had very strict or controlling parents, and when they [kids] get to college, get married, whatever, go overboard because they do not know how to handle responsibility or the consequences – good or bad – of their actions.”

Luke Foster, Tahlequah School Board member, is the father of three: a 10-year-old boy, a 5-year-old girl and a 3-year old girl. He’s just beginning to weather the storm of “tweenhood” with his son, but seems to be prepared for the job. He understands the advantages technological advances provide.

“Kids pick up things faster than I can imagine,” said Foster. “Particularly the vocabulary. Technology of all kinds helps to accelerate the lives of everyone, not just children. Children are more apt to get caught up because their minds are still developing and act like sponges.”

Foster tries to preserve his children’s’ childhood by helping them enjoy little things. “We go on bike rides or walks,” he said. “I wrestle with them and eat ice cream, and occasionally let them mispronounce words.”

Foster believes his children will navigate their tween years successfully.



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