SOS offers secular sobriety solution

By BETTY RIDGE
Special Writer

TAHLEQUAH DAILY PRESS October 21, 2008 10:44 am

— Over the past seven decades, millions of people worldwide have found sobriety through Alcoholics Anonymous and similar 12-step programs.
But just as the “one size fits all” clothing doesn’t necessarily fit everyone, the traditional 12-step groups don’t meet the needs of every alcoholic or addict.
Some people in northeastern Oklahoma have turned to SOS – Secular Organizations for Sobriety, or Save Our Selves – as a method to become sober and stay sober.
“Larry H.,” a member of two SOS groups in Tulsa, discussed the organization during the adult forum Sunday at Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Tahlequah. Larry made literature available for those who may want to form an SOS group locally.
“SOS is kind of a friendly alternative to the traditional 12-step groups,” said Larry, who has been sober more than 22 years.
He said SOS stresses open-mindedness and tolerance, listening to other views, and developing one’s own program for recovery.
Many people are familiar with the original 12-step recovery program, Alcoholics Anonymous, developed by Bill W. and Dr. Bob S., and their early associates, during the 1930s. Participants taking the first step admit they are powerless over alcohol – or drugs, or whatever is the group’s object – and that their lives have become unmanageable.
AA stresses a spiritual approach to recovery, and emphasizes that it is a spiritual program, not a religious one. Many people in the program say they have discovered their spirituality through working the steps.
Chapter 4 of “Alcoholics Anonymous,” known as the “Big Book,” is titled, “We Agnostics,” and discusses how many people in recovery through AA, although not initially professing any religious belief, achieved spirituality through open-mindedness.
However, some people are put off by the trappings of many AA meetings, including forming a circle, holding hands, and reciting the Lord’s Prayer at the conclusion of meetings. People have felt uncomfortable if they do not participate in these activities, and this is one thing others have told him upon discovering SOS, Larry H. said.
According to SOS literature Larry distributed, the movement began in 1985 with an article by James Christopher, published in Free Inquiry magazine. Christopher said he believes sobriety can be achieved through personal responsibility and self-reliance.
In 1987, the California court system recognized SOS as an alternative to AA when ordering offenders to participate in a program. The Veterans Administration also has adopted a policy prohibiting mandatory participation in “programs of a religious nature,” according to the pamphlet, “An Overview of SOS.”
“In SOS, we have a mixture,” Larry said. “We have people who believe in God, people who don’t believe in God. Some people also attend AA or NA [Narcotics Anonymous], others don’t. About half of them will be in 12-step groups.”
Some people have become sober through SOS, just as through the other programs. But, as in all programs, there are those who stray from the course and relapse.
“It’s not a structured program; it’s more of a support group,” Larry said.
SOS encourages its members also to attend 12-step groups if they desire, and garner what benefits they can.
“They [SOS] do emphasize total abstinence,” Larry H. said. “If I don’t take care of my sobriety, then my job, my family, everything is in jeopardy.”
Traditional AA meetings adhere to a format, and so does SOS. The meetings have a chair, who begins with an opening statement about the organization. Then, one of two of a group of guidelines for sobriety are read.
Participants “check in,” discussing their progress in recovery and how their week has gone. Then they select or volunteer a topic, and spend the remainder of the meeting discussing it.
“That usually is enough to get a discussion launched,” Larry said.
The focus of the meeting is on discussing recovery.
“We can always say what works for us as individuals,” Larry said.
Like AA or NA, SOS has phone lists and encourages participants to talk with others in recovery and contact them for support.
“We develop friends lists rather than sponsors,” Larry H. said.
And like the other recovery programs, SOS meetings emphasize the importance of anonymity.
One woman attending the forum said she had had trouble relating to the religious verbiage she had found in some 12-step meetings, but she had enjoyed e-mail discussions through SOS.
Larry said that while some people come to SOS wanting to bash traditional 12-step groups or religion, they are discouraged from doing so, and are asked to shift their focus to positive recovery methods.
According to its literature, SOS considers sobriety or abstinence as “Priority One, no matter what!”
The pamphlet also states:
• All who sincerely seek sobriety are welcome to SOS.
• SOS is not a spin-off of any secular or religious group, and has no hidden agenda.
• Sobriety is an individual responsibility, but life does not have to be faced alone. The support of other alcoholics and addicts is vital to recovery.
• Each SOS group is autonomous and self-supporting, refraining from interest in outside matters. Anonymity is stressed.
• “Sobriety is the No. 1 priority in a recovering person’s life. As such, he or she must abstain from all drugs or alcohol.”
• “Honest, clear and direct communication of feelings, thoughts and knowledge aids in recovery and in choosing nondestructive, nondelusional and rational approaches to living sober and rewarding lives.”
• “SOS encourages the scientific study of all aspects of alcoholism and addiction. SOS does not limit its outlook to one area of knowledge or theory of alcoholism and addiction.”

Get involved
Information on the area SOS group is available at www.sostulsa.org. The international Web site is www .sossobriety.org. Tulsa information numbers are 918-384-0299 or 918-766-2065.

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